What does father's day mean to me?

It's amazing the things I can remember from childhood. I remember the days my mother lived as a single mother who had to work 3rd shift and then I remember when I was about 7 my mother got married to my stepfather. He has been me, my sister and my brother's dad every since. He came in and loved us as we were his own and we always called him daddy.

I honestly never thought about my "real" father. I truly believed that his presence was none existent and not in a bad way. I never went through the "I hate him, why isn't he here?" stage because I felt I had a daddy and that's all that mattered. The older I became I sometimes heard people relate how I dealt with certain issues to the fact that I never had my biological father in my life. I thought that was utterly ridiculous. How could I want or need something I never had or better yet, how could I want or need something that I did indeed already have??!

So today many years later, I sit and wonder and reflect back on my life. It just recently dawned on me that the man who was responsible for my life never once made an effort to get to know me. Not one birthday, not one school event, not one holiday, not one phone call, and not one single thought of me (that I know of, anyway). I remember after I graduated high school my mother told me she received notice in the mail to appear in court. After 18 years of absence and barely paying a measly $25/wk (which he was behind $8k at the time), this man had the audacity to file a motion with the court to make sure his child support was ended b/c I was 18.

Out of all the things to remember I guess when I turned 18, was the most important. At that time I had no visual memory of this man so I decided that I would accompany my mother to court that day. So I drove three hours and sat patiently waiting for the case to be called. Waiting to get a glimpse of the man everyone said I greatly favored. Everything went very swiftly and with only a few words spoken the case had ended just like that. So my mother and I got up and walked out. It was a very small courthouse so we knew he would have to pass us to exit out. I stood and waited. Not sure exactly what I was waiting for. To see him up close?? Maybe to see if he had anything to say to me?? I don't know. Then just like that he walked by us, not even blinking, got in his car and left. Not one word. No eye contact. Just stormed out and left.

How do I feel now? I feel fine. At least I think so. Sometimes I wonder if there truly is a pain that exist but is hidden so deep, I convince myself its not there. One thing I do know is, God has giving me a forgiving heart and all is well in my soul :)

Today, on Father's Day, I thank the man who is and has always been my daddy. I pray for my biological one and hope before he leaves this earth he realizes the err of his ways. To all the wonderful fathers in this world, you are so greatly loved and appreciated. To all the uncles, cousins, brothers, mentors, neighbors, etc. who step up and act as fathers...thank you. To all the single mothers who have to be fathers too....job well done. And to the bitter, hateful women who want allow their children to see their fathers...shame on you. Realize that life is not all about you and do what is right. NO ONE can every replace the love a man gives.....Happy Father's Day!

Is God Going Out of Style??

I am often amazed at the lack-of God's love shown by Christians or better yet, "church folks". They can sometimes quote numerous scriptures and chastise others for not abiding by the Word of God but yet fail to apply the scripture to themselves and LIVE the Word they are professing. Some would argue that the bible is a matter of interpretation and that is somewhat true. However, the most riveting, non-disputable facet of the bible is Jesus Christ. The life he lived, the power of his love, the selflessness of his death and the unwavering measure of His grace and mercy. Somehow Christ has become diluted in the lives of Christians. The bitter, confrontational, judgmental, unforgiving, unloving behavior of some does not mirror the Jesus I know.

What we fail to realize is that we cannot force people to believe what we believe. It's call choice. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me. (Rev3:20) It does not say behold I stand at the door and knock, whether or not any man hears my voice, I am busting the door in and forcing him to believe because I know his soul is headed for destruction.

T.D. Jakes writes:
Many times majority groups think that their views control the country, which for me as a Christian is a great idea. But what happens when and if the numbers switch and we aren’t the majority? The founding fathers created a democratic system that separated church from state so that, as a country, we could avoid the slippery slope of getting into the business of telling people what to believe. That is a job they left to be determined by the individual, the synagogue, the mosque and the church!

A country that has one national religion as its only compass is much more of a theocracy than a democracy. That kind of tyranny leads to witch burning, spiritual genocide, forced and fraudulent expressions of faith, and God knows what else. As wonderful as faith is, faith out of control can be lethal.

I love democracy because it is designed to keep the government from telling me when and how to serve communion, and it allows room for debate without dominance. Religious people will never agree on everything within or outside of the bounds of the church. Democracy allows that debate without polluting it further with political intervention as long as that debate doesn’t infringe on another human’s rights. Lately, it is my view that religion has become increasingly a servant to politics, and whenever a flame is needed to move a candidate or party closer to power, they ignite the flame of the faith community by playing on controversial issues and fear. This isn’t new religious jargon; it’s the same lingo that moved the civil rights movement forward. It disannulled the religious language that slave owners used to justify their hideous abuse of African men and women in our history. Communism enforced an atheistic view that denied its citizens the pursuit of an open practice of faith.

Why is it that:

• We only show up to fight other people in the press, but never to love anyone or help anyone. We appear angry and militant,
• Faith groups are locked behind stained glass windows while other groups and ideas have taken their messages to Hollywood and elsewhere, reaching people where they are, rather than asking people to come to them,
• We have allowed our message to become contaminated with politics and self-interest,
• Religious people and their self-righteous piety have lost the respect of the secular world.

Could it be:

• Faith is leaving organized religion and becoming a matter of personal relationships that are seemingly more meaningful than associations incubated behind hallowed walls.