As this day comes to a close, I sit and wonder how exactly did I get here. I mean this place, at this time, at this point in my life. Guess what they say is true...want to make God laugh...tell him your plans. And boy did I have plans and still do. I just wouldn't have quite thought they would have played out this way.
You know I hate feeling sorry for myself. I mean who am I? To really have the audacity to question or be dissatisfied with my current place in this life. I often wonder how many things do I really have buried so deep away even a miner couldn't find it. I mean all I've ever known was to do, to go, to strive, to be. Strength. I had to have it. My mother had it and in my eyes she never missed a beat.
So yes, all these years I've been the strong woman. Enduring but pressing. On and on I've went, making plans, executing them, and enjoying the fruits of my labor. Yet, it's still not enough. I've hit a boulder in the middle of the road and I haven't the slightest clue what to do. This may sound normal but you don't understand I am Rook. I always know the next move. I always have the eye of strategy. And yet for the first time, everything around me has stopped. Or maybe everything else is moving and I'm the one motionless.
I'm tired of being disappointed and my mind is bothered that I even care I've been disappointed. I am supposed to be invincible. Yeah I know, you can laugh. But you don't understand my story. Or the story of so many other woman who make it happen, by almost any means necessary regardless of the inner leeches that seek to destroy...all with a smile on your face.
So what am I saying? I don't know :/ Strength, focus, drive, motivation, JESUS...I need ya... One wise brother said today, "All hell is breaking loose because you are right on the verge of the most revolutionary time in your life!!"
...to be continued....
3 comments:
I didn't know you had posted. I was all prepared to come here and talk noise. LOL.
But I see your spirit is under the weather a bit. Sad face. I have been there myself and probably will be there again, from time to time.
You want to know what I tell myself when things are not going accordingly? I tell myself that I should remain focus and know that the tables always turn, the sun will reappear, and laughter will fill my heart again.
And you know what? It does.
It always does. So, stay focused.
Real talk @ I am Rook. I always know the next move. I always have the eye of strategy. And yet for the first time, everything around me has stopped. Or maybe everything else is moving and I'm the one motionless.
RookDaGreat!
hahahahaha
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