Note To Self: Breaking Through

The sun yet rises again and I find myself trapped behind this wall.
From Monday to Friday, from January to December, from 8-5pm it holds me captive.
It tells me this is where I belong, it tells me I have no where else to go.
Day by day by day, this wall squeezes me tighter and tighter
It's suffocating me yet it feeds me
My veins are bulging, my heart is racing, my voice yells silently
What do I do? Where do I go? Who do I tell?
Toughen up, they say. Be content. How dare you complain.
A tight wall is better than no wall, we all have to do it, ok.
Nah, it's not ok. Maybe you can't see the forest for the trees, but I can see the sky above the forest.
There's more, it has to be.
There's a purpose that I can't fight. It hangs on my side everyday.
Why are you hiding? What are you afraid of?
Who could have ever imagined that one's passion could run so deep.
Who would have known that the path to the soul was infinite.
Don't ignore the whispers. No not the noise but the whispers, the sweet melodies of ardor.
I do know why the caged birds sing.
The life and latency of the bird was never meant to be held in bondage.
So this being true, what now?
But when, but how, but what about.....
Today is here, another day is only hoping to be tomorrow.
There's a wall that needs breaking through.....missrook its on you.

You must not know...the Black Man's Sorrow

Uneducated, uninspired, unloving is what you'd lead me to believe
Woman hater, unproductive, born and breeded criminal is what you'd swear to be true
From birth you've casted away, disregarded and stripped his spirit of all germane.
Set up to knock down,
Giving to, to only take away,
All love, joy, hope, perseverance diminishes by your watch.
Excuses I give, you say? Oppression you give, I say.
Do you know what I know, I say? Do you care to know, you say?
So you must not know, I say ....

Well let me just introduce you to him.
He's a grandfather, a father, an uncle, a brother, a son
He's the backbone of a family and the love of one's heart
He's the first one to rise and the last one to rest
He works day in and day out with no advancement in sight
He carries his load, unfairly as it is, but yet no complaints you hear
See he knows his path is different, he understands the rules to this game
The same, is what he wants
The same humanly respect
The same quality education for his son
The same pay for having to work twice as hard
Do you know?
Do you know the load he carries?
Do you know his feeling of disappointment and failure?
Do you know how you continue to grease his slope to success?
Do you know his anger? his resentment?
Do you know he's still expected to smile, although you've given him a permanent frown?
When does it get better, he ask? When can I feel like a man?

Gaze deep into his eyes, search long within his soul
Wipe the fog from your glasses and you'll see
Amongst the charcoal filled insides, there lies a light.
A light that beams so bright and warm.
It's so shiny and radiant, it almost pierces your eyes.
Yet you can't turn away.
Calmness can be found within the light,
Happiness, satisfaction, wholeness all radiate in the light.
If you tilt your head and listen real closely,
the light hums a song of proclamation.
A song of fulfillment, a song of love.
But suddenly the light is gone ...You've appeared.
In an instance, he has awaken to life.
So again I ask, do you know??

Nahh, you must not know...the Black Man's Sorrow.

Note to Self: Procrastination is .....

Procrastination is a mugg.
Why do I procrastinate?
Help me, sweet Jesus!!

What should I be doing RIGHT now?

• Washing dishes....I did get the water going, put the nice bubbles in, but......
• Finishing a paper....I said I would do it last night but......
• Tackling the file of papers sitting to my left.....eh...
• Completing the remaining things on my to-do list for today.....I am for real in 30 mins....
• Writing a to-do list for tomorrow to remind me of things I didn't do today.....maybe later....

Note to self: get yo' ish together!

Self to note: I am for real-real.

Tick-Tock

Tick-tock, tick-tock,

The end is near.

The clock is speaking,

Can you hear it?

His finger so gently strokes my locks,

The gentleness of his lips on my cheek,

The smiles of two meet simultaneously as one.

All darkness is overtaken by the bright narrowing light emerging upon the two.

The moment.

Love, happiness, blithe.

But what happened to ....

And what about ....

All is forgotten,

In the moment.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

The end is near.

The clock is speaking,

Can you hear it?

Suddenly anxiety arrives.

The bright light seems to dim.

Those fingers become so rigidly uninviting,

Those lips approach mysteriously.

The one smile of two is irretrievably broken.

The moment is no more.

Tick-tock, tick-tock

The clock is speaking,

Can you hear it?

The end is near.

The end is here.

....Not Like I Do You.

The orange beam of early light pierces the curtain with intimate thoughts of me,

The daily encounters of chaos, chatter, confusion, frustration are all silenced by the whispers of my heart,

The longing for me is yet to end with the calming of the day,

The joining of two souls extends beyond the conscious mind,

The need is great, it's long, it's deep, it transmutes into physical exigency,

You wouldn't trade it, you couldn't trade it,

Your love for me.

And with the resting of my eyelids and a gentle exhale,

I know these feelings are so warm, so real, so true....but

Who genuinely speaks these words?

Are these your thoughts? Or mines?

Do you feel this feeling?

Or do I simply need you to? Or want you to?

...maybe you do love me ....but clearly

....not like I do you.

Why?

• Why do we ask why, when we usually already know the answer?
  
• Why can't we have the love we want?
  
• Why do we always complain, no matter how good things are?
  
• Why do lovers cheat?
  
• Why do we have to lose before we appreciate?
  
• Why do we do things we know are wrong?
  
• Why does love have to hurt?
  
• Why do good things have to end?

Hmmmm......

something for your mind, your body, and your soul,
it's the power to arouse curiousity,
the Purpose
the goal which one acts on,
a journey of force, hot like the sun and wet like the rain,
rhythmatic movements in unison with others
prolong an act of sensation with no limits or boundaries.
eternity is past
Wrong is right
it's the point of greatest intensity
pleasures of the highest sense,
feelings of warmth and security,
willing and unwilling sensations of the mind,
a condition
the ultimate seduction....
...The Realm

Written by R. D'Agostino, A. Mannino & D. Pino

Note To Self...

Ok, ok I know. I suck. It's been about two weeks now since I've put up a new post. Obviously, I don't have MTB type traffic coming through here :), however when I was inspired to do this, it actually meant something to me. So anyhow, long story short, I've been busy but note to self....I'm back!